Sleep, it's a glorious thing!

(Remember this pic from a couple of months ago? This is what I found one morning when I walked into Chase's room to get him up for school. Apparently he'd had a busy night, and found a sharpie to color on his cast, and yes, i made him clean up his room.)

Chase had a bad night last night.
Well, lemmie re-phrase that.
Chase had a bad night before going to sleep.
He didn't want to go to bed when it was time.
I had been ready for him to go to bed for hours.
Every time I turned around yesterday, Chase had something he could carry water in, and was watering my plants...well, more like drowning my plants and flooding the front entry way. Thanks to an episode of Elmo's World where Chase learned how to 'take care of plants', they boy wants to water my plants every 5 seconds. If it's not the watering can he's using, it's a cup, or a glass or a teapot from Allie's Tinkerbell Tea Set. It's gotten to the point where I have to turn off the water under the sink because as soon as i leave a room, a plant will get watered. Even the fake flower arrangement i have sitting on my kitchen table got watered today. That's what I get for switching the laundry in the laundry room. He's getting tricky though, because if he gets a glass of water, he'll pretend like he's drinking it all the way over to the plant in the family room, and then the first chance he gets, he dumps it on the plant.
Anyway, I digress.
The thing with autism, is, that sometimes, they are terrible sleepers.
Chase is a terrible sleeper, but he wasn't always.
He slept fine as a baby, and into the toddler years.
It was when he got into the 'preschool years' that he decided it was a good idea to wake up in the middle of the night, and wander the house.

When we left Japan in 2007, he was still in a crib. He turned 2 right before we left, so when we got to New Mexico, we bought the kids bunk beds.

In Chase's eyes, he had just been handed sweet sweet freedom.
We would wake up in the night to find him wandering the living room, trying to go out the front door, turning off and on the TV, climbing in the dryer, getting into the fridge and breaking all the eggs (that one was my favorite) and of course, jumping on the couch...naked.
He was 2 remember.

Chase is now 5, and he takes medication to sleep. It was explained to us by his doctor that when Chase goes into 'light sleep' he wakes all the way up, instead of, like most of us, when we slip into the light sleep, we roll over and go back to sleep and usually don't remember doing it.
Without Chase's sleep meds, he may or may not fall asleep, but if he does, he will wake up 3-4 hours later and stay awake for hours. He still wakes up with the medication, but he goes back to sleep much faster.

Last night, when i announced to Chase is was time for bed, he acted like he'd just been told it was time to storm the shores of Normandy.
In other words, he didn't want to go to bed.
He wouldn't go upstairs when i asked him to, so I carried him. He's not easy to carry up a flight of stairs when he's 'not a happy camper'.
Then when we get upstairs, he runs into Allie's room, and proceeds to have a nervous breakdown. He's slobbering, sweating, crying, screaming, and kicking.
An autistic fit at it's best.
His fits have gotten alot better and shorter since his home therapy program started a year ago, but still, every so often, he breaks down like this.

As I'm sitting there on Allie's bed, (Allie was downstairs watching Jumanji)...wishing Eric was here because Eric has a way with Chase that I don't, I started silently praying that I could handle this moment the best way for Chase. I didn't feel out of control, or angry or impatient, I felt helpless. A typical 5 year old has hissy fits still sometimes, I know that, but not like this. As a parent of a child with autism, we yearn for normality, and his behavior last night was not normal. I know Chase will never be "normal". Why do I want that for him when I know it's not possible? It seems unfair to him. It's like trying to stuff a square peg through a triangle hole. But what we're striving to do is help him to be self sufficient and independent to survive in a world that's "normal".

So as I sat there with Chase, a feeling, and a thought came into my mind. That feeling/thought said "I know this is hard, I know you're feeling hopeless, but you are blessed with a healthy body and a willing heart to do this, so do it."

I looked at Chase, I stood up, I told him that I loved him, and I bid him goodnight. This was something I knew he needed to and would work through on his own, and he did. Within minutes he was quiet, calm and asleep.

I went downstairs, sat next to Allie, and we finished watching Jumanji together. After the movie was over, she turned to me and said "Is Chase asleep in my room?"
I said "Yep"
Allie said "That's good, he likes my room."
"He sure does Allie".

In the morning, I go upstairs to get Chase up for school, and I found him sitting on the toilet, naked, eating a banana.
Where in the world did he find a banana, and why was he on the toilet naked eating it?
I may never know.
How boring would my life be without my children?
I never want to know!

(The kiddos on Easter in Cedar City Utah)