What's your hobbies??

Anyone who went to Dixie College in southern Utah around 1995 will remember the "what's your hobbies" guy.
He was always at every church dance, and always slow danced with every girl present.
And he would unfailingly ask you... "what's your hobbies?"

Well, this is to the "what's your hobbies" guy....
"I got none and I'm okay with that."

The Relief Society Presidency was at my house doing their "welcome to the ward/getting to know you" visit a few weeks ago.

The RS president asked me what i like to do, what hobbies i had...ya know, things like that...those "getting to know you" questions.
And it was then that i realized something....
I couldn't answer her question...because i didn't have an answer. I hadn't realized until that moment that i didn't have hobbies but right away i knew I wasn't sad about that.

When you have a child with autism and is involved in ABA therapy, it becomes your life, well, really everyone's life who lives in the house. Including other siblings.
ABA stands for "Applied Behavior Analysis.
And it's a wonderful thing.
With autism, the child's behavior can be a hindrance to their progression....and they can't help it, and unless you have the proper tools to shape their behavior, you're both stuck.

The first thing ABA therapy taught Chase was to be more compliant.
He didn't like it, but he adapted, and now when we ask him to do something, he does it..most of the time. He is only 4 yrs old remember.

Before ABA, Chase would do whatever he wanted when he wanted...meaning...he walked around all day in his reality, and never bothered nobody no how.

But we interrupted his world, and are teaching him to see what's around, and who's around, and to look at the person that's talking to him. Kids with autism tend to not want to make eye contact.

(Chase working with Bree, one of his ABA therapists)

But with ABA therapy, it's a 24 hour deal. Sure, the therapists come to the house for 3 hours a day everyday, sometimes twice a day, except Sunday's, and work with him, but when they're not here, Eric and i are the therapists. Even Allie. We're teaching her how to do ABA therapy with Chase because she interacts with him daily. And let me tell you, she can get Chase to do things I can't.
For example:
*Chase lets Allie read to him, how ever many books she wants. When i try to read to him, he lets me read the first page, then turns the pages 5 at a time until the end and.....we're done.

*Chase will always come over when Allie's calling his name. He mostly comes when i call his name.
*Chase lets Allie lay in bed with him... but me? i usually get the boot.

(Chase much enjoys watching Allie play games on the iPod)

While I may not have a hobby that includes sewing my children's Halloween costumes yearly, or scrapbooking in my spare moments, (I don't have much time or spare moments very often,)...it's not like I don't do anything for me...I still get my hair done when i can, have pedicures, see movies once in a blue moon, date my husband, blog, enjoy 30 Rock on Netflix,....but i don't have a "hobby" a real hobby.

When you become a parent, you sign a contract saying you'll do what it takes for your kids to have a good life. Deep down, everyone wants a better life for their kids than they had. If it means you sacrifice something you want, then that's what you do. And you do it over and over again. I'm not in any way saying if you are a parent and you have a hobby, then you're doing something wrong!! But anyone with a child that has autism will relate that it's a lot of work and energy to teach them all the things a 'typical' child learns all on their own. You don't think about that fact until you're living it. When Allie was younger, there were so many things she did without us having to teach her...like...how to use a fork or get dressed, or make her bed or climb in and out of the tub on her own....these are all things we have had to teach Chase. And it doens't happen overnight. He has to be shown everything over and over or he doens't know he should do it. But the cool thing is, when he does learn something that is basic to 'typical' children, it's profoundly that much more exciting! And that makes all the work worth it!

We're not sad Chase has autism, and we don't dwell on the fact that he learns differently than other kids his age. We embrace autism, we learn all we can about it, we find the joy in it, and we love Chase no matter what.

Autism is a big part of our life, and every second of everyday we are teaching Chase how to live with it in a "non autisitc world." As the ABA therapists say "We're shaping these kids to be future tax payers." That's the goal indeed!! If we accomplish that goal, then we've done our job because they are able to function in society.
So if that means i don't take up a hobby right now, I know there will be time for that later and...well, I'm just very much really OKAY and fine with that.