Chase and his hug

Every morning of Chase's life since he starting walking, I've made him come and give me a hug. Everytime Chase comes home from preschool, I make him give me a hug. Everytime I come home from somewhere that Chase hasn't been with me, i make him give me a hug. Now, mind you i said 'make him' because he doesn't do it on his own. Allie always has run up to me to hug me and i've never had to ask her to. Never once has Chase come up to me for a hug or hugged me back. It's his autism that makes him 'non cuddly' and stand off-ish to most touch. He'd rather not be bothered with hugs and kisses. Even as a baby, he didn't like being cuddled with. He would push away if you tried to hold him too close and i remember feeling a longing for that when i would see other mother's that could hold their babies on their chest and the baby would cuddle up into them and fall asleep. It hasn't ever hurt my feelings though of course, because I know that Chase's brain works differently. But it's always been a hope of mine, that one of these times, he'd hug back. Our routine is me saying "chase, can i have a hug?" He always thinks about it, and then walks over and stands there, with his arms at his side. So i drape his arms around my neck and we have our hug. The reason I'm dedicating a blog to this is because today, for the first time in Chase's 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days of life, ( kinda cool how that worked out huh?)....Chase hugged me back. But this time, i was holding him close, which he doesn't let me do most times but was this time, carrying him to his room, and he put one arm around my neck, and squeezed. I stopped dead in my tracks and froze. I could not believe what i was feeling. The hug lasted probably all of 4 seconds but in those 4 seconds, all of my stresses, heartaches, and things i long for in my heart daily was gone. For those 4 seconds, my son hugged me without me asking him to. For those 4 seconds, my son hugged me because he wanted to. In those 4 seconds, i was finally being hugged back and knew I was the luckiest mom in the world.